As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
