i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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