I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
