you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
