Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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