After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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