I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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