i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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