she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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