so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dicks are not precious.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
