Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
