Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
