yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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