best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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