Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
