i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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