HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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