My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
