EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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