Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
