you win again, gameday.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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