she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
