I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
