is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize