So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
