Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
