The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
