i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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