i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
