Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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