Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
