so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
