Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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