dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
is it fun? or sober?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
