i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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