Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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