we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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