why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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