Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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