If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize