He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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