her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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