u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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