Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
