It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
