You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
