i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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