Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
