girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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