My nipple is on Facebook.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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