When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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