is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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