Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
