How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
