wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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