It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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