I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
