lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
