when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
