He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
organizing the empties. That sober.
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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