Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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